(an observation)

There are two women sitting at a small cafe window booth in my hometown. Coffee and breakfast sandwiches lay between them, an atmosphere thickens around the table consisting of deep, abiding, loving friendship. These women talk about all that falls under the sun – their family, work, hobbies, spiritual life, and more. Intimacy such as this is a witness to all who see. It warms something inside of me, especially when they freely invite me in without reservation. You see, they set a spot for me, too, and enveloped me in the cloud of their love.

Mentorship is about being “in the room” and welcoming people into our heart homes. Observing another person in the way they tell stories, share what’s on their mind, and the demeanor they have while interacting with others speaks much louder than telling someone what to do. While there are times for intentional conversations/formal mentorship, not every interaction needs to be fully hands on. Simply living side by side and learning with one another is a beautiful thing. Each woman in my life passes on a legacy of love which informs the version of myself I want to be. Fifty years down the line, I hope I look like them.

Benson Boone’s song, Momma’s Song¹, has some lyrics which stick out to me in the chorus:

“Take me down your old street
Tell me your memories of when you were young and when you fell in love
Drive me through the country
Tell me your story and you can play all of your favorite songs
‘Cause I’m gonna need this
When I’m holding pictures of you and that’s all that I’ve got left”

Loved ones forever live within our very beings, the synaptic connections in our brains are altered from the words shared in passing, love shown through hospitality, and stories created throughout life which color-in everyday existence. The stories, favorite songs, and memories shared are eternal even when the pictures fade.

We are relational creatures, relationships (within our own lives and through stories) are primary ways we make sense of the world. What happens when we are divorced from those who came before us and those following? What happens when we don’t want to be “in the room”, or we are not invited “in the room”? I firmly believe the result of such a life is a pervasive isolation surpassing language. Without knowing something is missing, our souls crave this connection and make it known to us that something is missing. Intergenerational relationships are worth cultivating to enrich the spirit inside.

Friendship like the women at the cafe are not as rare as I once believed. Their cloud of witness emboldens me to fight for friendships, challenges me to take courageous steps, and comforts me in various situations of life. They are simply living their lives, and I am forever changed.

1. Benson Boone – Momma Song Lyrics | Genius Lyrics ↩︎